Recovery

As a kid, I always used to get a strange feeling when I was recovering from a cold. I had my medications, cough syrup, chicken broth, and tea with me. I once asked my mother how to know when to stop taking the syrup, and she said, “One day you’ll wake up and feel it in yourself — that you don’t need it anymore. That’s recovery.”

I always knew the day of recovery. It felt like waking up in the same house, with the same people and circumstances, but something had changed — as if I’d been catapulted into another universe, or a new version of me had emerged from the sickness. It was a reset, a restart, a refocus. I always loved the day of recovery.

Whenever I took a small trip somewhere, waking up in the morning had a similar feeling — as if the universe had shifted, as if something had changed, and changed for the better. It was no longer the old vessel of my body holding the old energy, but something new. I could never describe it properly.

I always thought that this tender place — this day of recovery — could only come through sickness or travel. Until today.

Today I woke up and didn’t feel the same. Either the vessel has changed, or the energies have left. I am empty, and I am excited about the unknown. I don’t know if it was a glitch in the matrix or if we were all catapulted into another universe quietly, but each fiber of my being knows a loop has closed, a boom has ended, and old patterns have left my body never to return.

I’ve wanted this day for so long, and I wondered how it could happen without sickness or travel. Then Rumi’s words echoed in my mind:

“Submit to a daily practice.
Your loyalty to that is a ring at the door.
Keep knocking, and the joy inside will eventually open a window
and look out to see who’s there.”

And I was fascinated by how true those words were. I’ve been silently knocking on the door for so long — sometimes just a little tap, but always at the threshold, always waiting. Love can wait.

And today, the door opened. And it filled me with joy.

It is a new dawn. It is a day of recovery.